The Gray Area by Tristan Pollock

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Politics Without Politics
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Politics Without Politics

How can we rise above polarization and treat each other as humans?

Tristan Pollock
Oct 22, 2020
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Politics Without Politics
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“What’s good for me is what’s good for everyone, versus, what’s good for everyone is what’s good for me.”

It’s an intense time. No doubt about that. US presidential election years often are, but 2020 is compounded with difficult situations and division more so than any past year in my memory.

Throughout this time I’ve been dwelling on philosophy and challenging myself to think more critically and objectively than ever before.

I question the biases of the reporter I’m reading. I fact check and spend way too much time on Snopes, AllSides, and Google researching the true stories behind sound bites and social media statements. I’ve even installed chrome extensions like Trusted News to get help from artificial intelligence to detect media objectivity ratings.

My conclusion: It’s a lot of work for your average person to stay objective. However, it is possible if you put a little time in.

That said, the true gray area gap I want to close here isn’t media attention, but empathy for each other. In order to stop the expanding political division, we need to look at each other as human beings that aren’t so different. We are actually all pretty similar as a species even across borders and cultures. In my opinion, our differences are pretty minor compared to our similarities.

What all this objectivity research has shown me is that it’s much more important to close the dialogue gap than anything else. We, the people, can challenge broken systems and corrupt politicians together if we calmly talk about it.

Part of that conversation is leaning into empathy and compassion in this time of great need. Love and understanding is the answer. That’s how we put the power back in people’s hands.

We need to find our shared values. We need to learn how to listen. We need to respond and not react. We need to find common ground so we aren’t torn apart by third parties. It’s the relationships, the neighborhoods, the one-to-one human connections that matter most in life and in times like this.

Some of that may sound difficult or hard to do in this current political climate, but it’s far from impossible. We aren’t that different. We just have different perspectives about how to get to similar solutions.

That’s why I included the quote at the beginning:

“What’s good for me is what’s good for everyone, versus, what’s good for everyone is what’s good for me.”

My childhood friend mentioned this to me as I expressed frustration around value-level differences from a recent conversation I had. What I didn’t realize at the time, was that that’s exactly the conversation that should be had versus comparison of political alliances and polarized issues.

We should be talking about what we care about and what values are important to us. For almost all of us, it starts with a layer of safety and security. After that, there is a desire for belonging. We want to be included in society. That’s a step up from presidential preferences. It’s a way to create a constructive dialogue that levels up an intimate relationship, not tears it down.

It talks to the philosophy behind your thinking and how you wish to live your life. It’s not about right or wrong, but the things you care about when politics are removed from the picture. How do you want to help your family, your city, your friends?

The Golden Rule is another example similar to this phrasing.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

I’ve often referenced it as someone who grew up in a Christian family. Regardless of being Agnostic now, I felt like The Golden Rule was and is a good guiding light on how to think about the care of others.

Recently my perspective was redefined as a close friend told me that The Golden Rule actually misses the point of empathy. Maybe not everyone wants to be treated as you like to be treated. They might want to be treated differently and as an empathetic and caring human, it’s your job to ask questions and listen to what they care about.

That’s also the key part of the beginning quote as well. It is difficult to create a system that serves all equally based on one person’s perspective and vice versa a fair system for all that one doesn’t feel represents them. We need to work together so everyone feels heard.

I think instead of showing that one side is right or wrong, both of these statements show the intricacies of our personal value systems. And you won’t know what that value system is for your family members, your friends, your neighbors unless you take the time to ask. And, most importantly, listen.

Some additional helpful resources I’ve come across recently:

  • We Can Find Common Ground

  • We Are Not Divided

  • Communicating With Choice

  • Whose Vote Counts, Explained


Have other resources or thoughts? Please share them in the comments below.

Or, if you’d like to share a story in private, please email me directly: tap.pollock@gmail.com

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David Haskell
Oct 23, 2020Liked by Tristan Pollock

Good word, Tristan; may all of good will take heart to build bridges across the aisle. Over here in the Middle East, we're also discovering that good ol' golden rule transcends sectarian conflicts for the common good. Examples from the edge of chaos in Lebanon - https://www.dreamsindeed.org/news/haskells-made-a-video/ and https://ssir.org/articles/entry/beyond_car_bombs_keys_for_transformative_impact

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1 reply by Tristan Pollock
Basil Latif
Writes BL Data Business Nov 27, 2020

Thank you for this, Tristan. Objectivity is required to make headway against our common problems. Empathy is also crucially important.

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